i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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