Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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