I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize