what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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