why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
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