just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
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Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
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Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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