suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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