remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize