You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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