I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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