ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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