No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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