just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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