What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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