she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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