I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Enjoy the penises
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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