The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize