He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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