WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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