Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
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I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
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Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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