man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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