You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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