Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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