I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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