it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
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He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
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Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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