I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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