She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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