I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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