my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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