I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
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Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
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Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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