maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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