One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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