I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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