So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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