3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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