don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
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in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
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you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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