I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize