Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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