There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
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His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
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Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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