Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
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She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
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I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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