Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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