Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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