you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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