Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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