My brain says no but my pants say off.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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