Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
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Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
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Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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