he wants to bone in the snuggie
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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