like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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