I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
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