Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
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